Break Up, Bipolars and PTSD (part 2)

Today is Day 3 of no contact with my now ex-partner who might have Bipolar 2. I am probably just going to make this a series where I jot down my journey of healing and rediscovery of myself. 

I have been reading a lot and I would agree that he fits the description. I have also discovered that Bipolar 2 comes with hyper-sexuality (or sex addiction). He has a history of cheating in our relationship and in all his previous ones as well. The crisis started early this year when it was let out by certain circles that my ex-partner had been alleged to have raped a girl in his office. Following after, many women started coming out saying that he had been sexually harassing them, sexting and very flirtatious and suggestive in his conversations with them. Many women I know personally and some I don't. The last 7 months after that discovery made my stomach churn as I try to make sense of the information; some he admitted to it and some were screenshots of women sharing their stories. I obsessively scrolled through all our text messages from the past 2.5 years to understand where the loopholes were and the deceit I had suspected a long time ago. I wanted answers but it did not help because it only added to the intrusive thoughts that are now very visual and the many violent nightmares I am experiencing right now. So in all that upheaval, I have also gotten PTSD. 

There were many points in our relationship that I wanted out. His moods were erratic. When he is down and depressive, he would sleep for days on end, not eat and shower. He would leave his work and projects undone. When he is high and in his grandiose state, he would generate creative ideas and excel in his work. Yet, he would also get distracted and seek out people to have conversations with till late nights. Now I know in his high states, he was cheating as well. These are also times when we have arguments and he would hit his head or bang his head against the wall. In one of these violent episodes, I was also physically assaulted in public where he tried to grip my neck and squeeze me in his arms so tight because he was afraid I was going to leave. 

I decided recently that this has to end. All his friends and work colleagues have shunned him. He has a police investigation against him for that rape in the office. We have mutual friends we would usually hang out with and they are all wary of him. So as much as his reputation is gone, my world is shattered as well.